Expectancy-Turned-Reality

Approaching the railroad tracks each day,

my head turns, looking right then left.

Yes, my eyes always check for permission to cross over

and continue on my way,

but my heart forever yearns, with childlike anticipation,

to wait for the train.

Silly, I guess.

Even childish, I suppose.

Yet I unashamedly admit it;

the delightful anticipation

of driving up to the tracks

at the very moment that the train

chugs its way across my path in all its glorious enormity

makes my insides flutter with excitement.

Well, it happened!

Yesterday…… TWICE!!!

I could hardly contain myself.

I threw my head back and laughed out loud.

Turning my truck off

and rolling all of the windows down to get the full effect,

I sat in wide-eyed amazement

as the larger-than-life locomotive

rumbled and screeched and clickity-clicked its way along the track,

just like in the storybooks

but a hundred times more impressive.

All too soon, 

the last car passed by taking with it the echoing sounds

of expectancy-turned-reality.

The freedom to continue on my way

was now wholly encompassed

within the delicious anticipation of another train

yet to come.

~ae

“Make me know Your ways, O Lord,

teach me Your paths.

Lead me in Your truth and teach me,

for You are the God of my salvation;

for You I wait all the day.”

~Psalm 25:4,5

Behold, Your Mother

What would she do?
Where would she go?
Who would care for her now?

When passion for independence
meets the stark reality of vulnerability,

When lifelong skills and abilities
are confronted by intense helplessness,

When the gift of serving others
gives way to the humble state of being served,

Jesus provides...

...knowing well
the full extent of our neediness,
our need for each other,
the void that accompanies loss.

...His position as God’s own Son
did not demand that He relinquish
His position as Mary’s own Son.

Jesus,
in submission to the Heavenly Father,
not neglecting His responsibilities to His earthly mother,
accomplished everything necessary
to fulfill the Scriptures.

“When Jesus then saw His mother,

and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby,

He said to His mother,

’Woman, behold, your son!’

Then He said to the disciple,

‘Behold, your mother!’

From that hour the disciple took her into his own household.”  

~John 19:26,27

I Don't Think...

My brother-in-law to his little girl the morning after her slumber party: 

“Come with me.  We’ll rest together.”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep, Daddy.”

“It’s o.k.  Just close your eyes…  There, now.  We’ll rest together.”

So she closed her eyes and was instantly asleep.

……

God to me when life happens:

Come with Me.  We’ll rest together (Hebrews 4:9-11)

I don’t think I’ll be able to _________, Lord.

It’s o.k.   Just do what I say…  There, now.  We’ll rest together.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;

Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness.

Again I will build you and you will be rebuilt.”

~Jeremiah 31:3,4

In Flex

Two very moving experiences

in two days...

A conversation with a friend

who is battling cancer,

and a few hours spent 

with a friend in the ER.

Both friends displayed 

immovable faith

and unalterable kindness

in the midst of extremely difficult circumstances.

Both friends had 

every plausible excuse

society has to offer

to toss kindness aside,

to render generic faith useless,

to ride whatever wave felt best

for the moment...

... but they chose another path...

a narrow road

with promise of struggle,

of suffering,

... and each remains completely contented there...

The power of kindness,

the strength of a smile,

the depth of compassion,

the might of an ear,

the steel of steadfastness,

the firmness of faith

all pass through the fire

of unmerciful fear.

Through acts of obedience

rendered in prayer,

the hearts of the faithful

become stronger still.

True strength, though appearing

impartial and tough,

is soft and resilient

in flex with His will.

“Now faith

is the assurance of things hoped for, 

the conviction of things not seen… 

let us run the race that is set before us, 

fixing our eyes on Jesus, 

the author and perfecter 

of faith…”

~Hebrews 11:1 & 12:1,2

Beyond Words

Words captivate me.

Words I see or hear

are constantly being filtered:

Are they flippant, exaggerated, dull,

misspelled, misapplied, inappropriate?

Are they accurate, inspiring, meaningful,

motivating, intentional, sincere…?

Words demand my focus,

their relevance vies for my attention,

their accuracy assumes authority to gauge value…

…perhaps too much so…

What blessing can come through sorrow?

What wisdom can be gained through loss?

What treasure can be found in emptiness?

Jesus,

be my focus

be my relevance worthy of attention,

be my authority to gauge value.

Draw me to

Yourself

…to be content

Beyond Words… 

~ae

Overwhelmed

Absurd...

that someone could actually

forget one's own birthday

or fail to remember the anniversary

of the death of one's child.

I did.

I was completely and entirely
overwhelmed...

...once by unspeakable joy

...once by unbearable sorrow.

Just days after the birth

of our first child,

my mother-in-law presented

a bouquet of flowers

and a small gift tied with a pink bow...

... not for our baby girl...

... for me! 

It was my birthday.

I could not have been more surprised!

"So Peter was kept in the prison,

but prayer for him was being made fervently by the church to God...

And behold, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared...

and his chains fell off his hands...

"When he knocked at the door of the gate,

a servant girl named Rhoda came to answer. 

When she recognized Peter's voice,

because of her great joy she did not open the gate,

but ran in and announced

that Peter was standing in front of the gate. 

They said to her, 'You are out of your mind!'" 

~Acts 12:5-15

After a week

of vigilance day and night

by my Dad's bedside,

my body went through the motions

of traveling homeward

while my heart remained there with him.

He breathed his last...

... on the very same day,

only six years ago,

that our baby boy's heart

stopped...

...an entire week went by

before I recalled

that tender memory.

"Behold, an hour is coming, and has already come

for you to be scattered, each to his own home,

and to leave Me alone;

and yet I am not alone,

because the Father is with Me. 

"These things I have spoken to you,

so that in Me

you may [be overwhelmed by] peace. 

"In the world

you have tribulation,

but take courage;

I have overcome the world." 

~John 16:32,33

"When my spirit was overwhelmed within me,

You knew my path." ~Psalm 142:3

"Now to Him

who is able to keep you from stumbling,

and to make you stand

in the presence of His glory

blameless with great joy."

~Jude vs.24

What Do You Say?

Thumbing through the pages
of the Bible that he gave me,
many years of conversations
still so vividly remain.
   For as long as I remember
   he has loved the Word of God,
   and when I asked so many questions,
   he'd explain,


Jesus said,
I am the Way, the Truth and the Life,
no one comes to the Father but through Me.
In this world you will have tribulation
but take courage,
for I have overcome the world,
yes I have overcome the world.

So, what do you say to someone who is dying?
What do you say to comfort
in the sorrow and the pain?
   What to you say to your hero,
   to your Daddy, to your friend?
   And when I asked the Lord these questions,
   He explained,

He said,
I am the Way, the Truth and the Life,
no one comes to the Father but through Me.
In this world you will have tribulation
but take courage,
for I have overcome the world,
yes I have overcome the world.

When heaven and earth have been restored
I'll see him;
he'll be having conversations
with his Savior and his Friend.
   Oh, the joy to see my father
   with our Father there together!
   So, for as long as I have breath,
   I will proclaim,

He is the Way, the Truth and the Life,
no one comes to the Father but through Jesus.
In this world we will have tribulation but take courage;
He has given us His promise and by His Word we take courage;
there is nothing to separate us from this hope
so take courage,
for He has overcome the world,
yes Jesus has overcome the world!
~ae