Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Overwhelmed

Absurd...
that someone could actually
forget one's own birthday
or fail to remember the anniversary
of the death of one's child.

I did.

I was completely and entirely
overwhelmed...
...once by unspeakable joy
...once by unbearable sorrow.

Just days after the birth
of our first child,
my mother-in-law presented
a bouquet of flowers
and a small gift tied with a pink bow...
... not for our baby girl...
... for me! 
It was my birthday.
I could not have been more surprised!

"So Peter was kept in the prison,
but prayer for him was being made fervently by the church to God...
And behold, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared...
and his chains fell off his hands...

"When he knocked at the door of the gate,
a servant girl named Rhoda came to answer. 
When she recognized Peter's voice,
because of her great joy she did not open the gate,
but ran in and announced
that Peter was standing in front of the gate. 
They said to her, 'You are out of your mind!'" 
~Acts 12:5-15

After a week
of vigilance day and night
by my Dad's bedside,
my body went through the motions
of traveling homeward
while my heart remained there with him.
He breathed his last...
... on the very same day,
only six years ago,
that our baby boy's heart
stopped...
...an entire week went by
before I recalled
that tender memory.

"Behold, an hour is coming, and has already come
for you to be scattered, each to his own home,
and to leave Me alone;
and yet I am not alone,
because the Father is with Me. 

"These things I have spoken to you,
so that in Me
you may [be overwhelmed by] peace. 

"In the world
you have tribulation,
but take courage;
I have overcome the world." 
~John 16:32,33

"When my spirit was overwhelmed within me,
You knew my path." ~Psalm 142:3

"Now to Him
who is able to keep you from stumbling,
and to make you stand
in the presence of His glory
blameless with great joy."
~Jude vs.24

Thursday, July 21, 2011

What Do You Say?

Thumbing through the pages
of the Bible that he gave me,
many years of conversations
still so vividly remain.
   For as long as I remember
   he has loved the Word of God,
   and when I asked so many questions,
   he'd explain,


Jesus said,
I am the Way, the Truth and the Life,
no one comes to the Father but through Me.
In this world you will have tribulation
but take courage,
for I have overcome the world,
yes I have overcome the world.

So, what do you say to someone who is dying?
What do you say to comfort
in the sorrow and the pain?
   What to you say to your hero,
   to your Daddy, to your friend?
   And when I asked the Lord these questions,
   He explained,

He said,
I am the Way, the Truth and the Life,
no one comes to the Father but through Me.
In this world you will have tribulation
but take courage,
for I have overcome the world,
yes I have overcome the world.

When heaven and earth have been restored
I'll see him;
he'll be having conversations
with his Savior and his Friend.
   Oh, the joy to see my father
   with our Father there together!
   So, for as long as I have breath,
   I will proclaim,

He is the Way, the Truth and the Life,
no one comes to the Father but through Jesus.
In this world we will have tribulation but take courage;
He has given us His promise and by His Word we take courage;
there is nothing to separate us from this hope
so take courage,
for He has overcome the world,
yes Jesus has overcome the world!
~ae

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Sustained

I needed to think beyond my sorrow.
I needed to feel God's comfort.
I needed to be still and worship Him.

Sitting down to the piano
I played several songs
ending with
Great is Thy Faithfulness.

Then without forethought,
I held the sustain pedal with the last chord
and closed the wooden cover over the keyboard.

...and there I sat.

Although I could no longer play
or even see the piano keys,
the sweetness of the melody
lingered within those final notes
as they slowly faded
until my ears
could no longer perceive the tones.

Tomorrow I will be traveling
quite possibly to say good-bye
to my Dad.

The sweetness of God's great faithfulness
is sustained
within Dad's frail body
and confused mind,
for it was refreshed and nourished daily
with God's Word
for as long as I can remember.

"When I came to you, brothers,
I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom
as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God.
For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you
except Jesus Christ and Him crucified.

"I came to you in weakness and fear,
and with much trembling.
My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words,
but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power,
so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom,
but on God's power.

"We do, however, speak a message
of wisdom among the mature,
but not the wisdom of this age or with the rulers of this age,
who are coming to nothing.
No, we speak of God's secret wisdom,
a wisdom that has been hidden
and that God destined for our glory before time began.

"None of the rulers of this age understood it,
for it they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.
However, as it is written:
'No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love Him,'
but God has revealed it to us by His Spirit.

"The Spirit searches all things,
even the deep things of God.
For who among men knows the thoughts of a man
except the man's spirit within him?"
~I Corinthians 2:1-11

Thursday, July 7, 2011

A Chair

   a chair...
a place of distinction,
a place from which to preside over important meetings,
a place to sit and enjoy a meal,
a place to position myself to put on shoes,
a place from which to observe,
a place to enhance lengthy conversation,
a place to strategically station myself within reach of controls,
a place to be strapped into for potentially unsafe journeys,
a place to be served,
a place to rest.

   a chair...
an object common to nearly every household and occupation,
creatively modified to accommodate specific applications,
easily taken for granted.

   a chair...
an unspoken representation of
confidence,
security,
trust.

   a chair...
pushed off to the corner of the room
labeled with a handwritten note
"Broken",
thus deemed
unreliable,
useless,
unable,
unsafe.

I felt autonomous, 
self-sufficient, 
independent.
I felt strong and praiseworthy.

My will,
my strength,
my heart... came to the end of itself.

I am broken.
I am unreliable, useless, unable, unsafe...

I am completely dependent upon
His gift of life,
His reason to sing,
His wisdom to discern,
His strength to believe, 
His merciful touch.

...and from His immeasurable grace
He gently and tenderly replaces my brokenness,
and becomes
the Perfect, the Eternal, the Unbreakable...
   my place of distinction,
   my place from which to preside over important meetings,
   my place to sit and enjoy a meal,
   my place to position myself to put on shoes,
   my place from which to observe,
   my place to enhance lengthy conversation,
   my place to strategically station myself within reach of controls,
   my place to be strapped into for potentially unsafe journeys,
   my place to be served,
   my place to rest...

"The righteous cry,
and the Lord hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
~Psalm 34:17,18

My will,
my strength,
my heart... came to the end of itself, but...

"... His kingdom will have no end." ~Luke 1:33

Friday, July 1, 2011

Storybook Children

Storybook children
run to see Jesus.
Storybook children are happy,
well behaved,
neatly dressed children.

The littlest ones on His lap sit still
while others stand at His side
or sit on green grass near His feet.
They all smile nicely.

But what about the children
who are too wiggly to sit still,
or forget to stay out of the mud,
or have green, runny noses,
or disrupt others,
or whine, or cry,
or are over-stimulated or tired?

What about the children
who demand attention,
or are mad, or bad, or sad,
or fight with each other
about who gets to sit on Jesus' lap first?

And what about the children
who are too little,
or are unable to walk,
or have physical or mental impediments?

What about the children
who have experienced abuse,
or rejection,
or oppression
or fear
or lack protection or provision or resources?

Which of these children
were more likely the ones
who were brought to Jesus
for his touch?

...the storybook children
who had their act together,
who were careful to not reveal any blemish,
who were self-sufficient?

...or the children
who were unable to function independently,
who were incapable of either faith or willful unbelief,
whose need for God's merciful touch
stemmed from His sovereignty
because God, in His grace, chose to redeem them?

"And they were bringing children to Him
that He might touch them,
and the disciples rebuked them.

"But when Jesus saw it,
He was indignant
and said to them,

"'Let the children come to me;
do not hinder them,
for to such belongs the kingdom of God.
Truly, I say to you,
whoever does not receive the kingdom of God
like a child
shall not enter it.'

"And He took them in His arms
and blessed them,
laying His hands on them."
~Mark 10:13-16