Only Trust

Reminiscing days of long ago;

difficult times of

intense sorrow.

Wordless prayers

crying silently to Jesus

pleading with Him to hold this child in His arms,

this child that barely began to grow inside of me

before his number of days were complete.

Or was it her?

At the time,

I was not able to understand,

not able to reason,

…only trust.

Today I sit with my precious daughter

as we visit a college campus,

considering her future together

with laughter, joy and eager anticipation.

She wants to pursue studies in medicine,

to prepare her heart with God’s Word,

to glean from missionaries and Biblical scholars.

She wants to be a medical missionary,

bringing the hope of wellness

to bodies and souls

in foreign lands.

She was conceived only three months

after the loss of the child I never met.

~ae

“But if we hope for what we do not see,

with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.

“In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness;

for we do not know how to pray as we should,

but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;

“And He who searches the hearts

knows what the mind of the Spirit is,

because He intercedes for the saints

according to the will of God.

“And we know that God causes all things

to work together for good

to those who love God,

to those who are called according to His purpose.” 

~Romans 8:25-28